“Most of the time, change is a good thing. Now, I think that’s what it’s all about. Embracing change. Being brave. Doing whatever you have to, so that everyone in your life can move forward with theirs.” ~ Ted Lasso 

In September of 2021, The New York Times reported that divorces are on the rise. It’s unclear whether this is a direct result of the pandemic, a side effect of the courts being slowed by it, or a combination of both, but the surge is real in many cities and states. Add to that reality that January, in a non-pandemic year, is so notorious for presenting a significant increase in divorce filings that it has been nicknamed 'divorce month'. Although the pandemic has changed people’s lives and perceptions, the core reasons for divorce remain constant.

If you’re wondering why people seek divorce, Laura Wasser, the famous California attorney who represented Kim Kardashian, Ryan Reynolds, Maria Shriver, and others, has a robust article, including research, that answers that question: conflict and arguing, lack of commitment, infidelity, lack of intimacy, poor communication, domestic violence, irreconcilable moral views, lack of shared interests, substance addiction, absence of love, financial problems, marrying too young, and inequity of responsibilities in the relationship. The Power of Two dials in on some dangerous relationship situations that are signs a divorce is healthy when one or both partners refuses to change: emotional abuse, physical abuse, addiction, repeated cheating, mistreatment of children, and an untreated mental disorder.

Whatever the situation in a particular relationship, DivorceMag has some helpful advice about steps to take once someone decides that efforts to save the marriage have not worked. They suggest that people:

• Collect the necessary paperwork
• Set deadlines for key activities, like document collection and hiring an attorney 
• Find support that you need. Mediators, therapists, financial advisors, friends, and family will be important as you move your divorce forward and reimagine your life.  
  
  

As a final financial resource, Forbes has a helpful article to support newly divorcing parties in thinking about the costs of divorce and how to manage them.

Recently, I was reminded of just how wrong these situations can go when a client, despite having an order of protection, was killed. An unfair truth of domestic violence is that victims often become responsible for keeping themselves safe. In the face of this reality, recognizing abuse and awareness of the real danger it poses is critical for victims, survivors, and their loved ones. At the end of the day, an order of protection is only a piece of paper. If the 'recognizing abuse' signs above apply to your own situation or that of a loved one, please work closely with professionals to ensure safety.  
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When you have children with an abuser, even after divorce, these situations become even more dangerous and difficult to manage if there are exchanges of children that force you to be in vulnerable situations.  I highly recommend, if you are in this position, that you have someone make the exchanges on your behalf, have the exchanges at a public place, and conduct the exchanges without any communication or interaction. Finally, I strongly recommend that you visibly record the exchange. You want an abuser to know the exchange is being recorded to minimize the chance of his or her acting out.

​Join me in standing up for domestic violence victims and survivors by supporting the Governor’s Office of Youth, Faith, and Family in bringing awareness to our domestic violence crisis through a variety of #LightingAZPurple events this month. It kicks off with the October 4th Purple Kickoff Event and offers a variety of ways you can bring visibility to the cause...along with helpful resources for anyone seeking safety from domestic abuse for themselves or a loved one. 

​There have been many articles published in the past few months that ilIustrate the toll that COVID has taken on families. I recently read an article in U.S. News titled "A Vaccine or This Marriage: Conspiracy Theories Are Tearing Couples Apart" by Jesselyn Cook. In it, one of the interviewed parties reported that her husband said, “If I take the vaccine I could pack my bags and leave his kids here.”

As a divorce attorney I have not heard this exact scenario, but it also did not surprise me. The COVID pandemic, and all that has come with, has caused a tremendous amount of stress in families, and many Americans are polarized about the vaccine. A marriage with a highly opinionated spouse that is convicted to a belief very easily could put a partner in a position whereby they have to choose whether or not they are equally convicted. This tension very well may lead to one spouse filing for divorce.

Over the years, I have seen the issue of whether or not to have a child vaccinated lead to litigation. In a divorced family in which the parents share joint legal decision-making authority, if the parents are not in agreement on whether or not to have the child vaccinated and both parents are strongly entrenched in their respective position, it is left the court to make that decision. The truth is that judges have different opinions on the necessity to vaccinate or not, and in Arizona, there is no standard, consistent response required by the court. One thing that is consistent is that disagreements like this often lead to high litigation costs that may or may not be seen as reasonable by the court. 

In a situation whereby one parent has sole legal decision-making authority, the court will decline to override that parent's choice, as there is a strong argument that making the decision infringes on that parent’s Constitutional right to parent. I only add this to highlight the fact that there is a very fine line between government intrusion into the parenting rights and the court having the right to make decisions regarding what is best for the child.

If you have a story that you are willing to share, I would love to hear how this pandemic has affected you and or your family.  

I came across this excellent article in The Balance that provides an overview of various options for filing taxes depending on whether your divorce was legally finalized or is still in progress. As part of this overview, the article provides information about the IRS tie-breaker rules for determining which parent gets to claim a child as a dependent.

One thing that the article did not touch on, that I believe is essential, is how child support impacts parents’ qualifications to claim a child as a deduction on their taxes. This impacts many of my clients. As always, in Arizona, parties should, first and foremost, review their specific court orders for clarification on this matter for their particular case, and if you have any questions, consult with your attorney. Also, it is prudent to consult an accountant or tax advisor regarding your specific situation, as family law attorneys do not provide any tax advice.
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The Arizona Child Support Guidelines, Section 27, provides that a parent who is not current with his or her child support payments by December 31st may be precluded from claiming a child as a dependent. As with all cases, it is important to check your specific court orders for decisions in your personal case. Additionally, the court can deny both current and future ability to claim a child as a dependent when there is a history of nonpayment of support obligations. Finally, a parent may need to obtain IRS Form 8332 to file with the tax return.