New Year; Moving Life Forward

“Most of the time, change is a good thing. Now, I think that’s what it’s all about. Embracing change. Being brave. Doing whatever you have to, so that everyone in your life can move forward with theirs.” ~ Ted Lasso 

In September of 2021, The New York Times reported that divorces are on the rise. It’s unclear whether this is a direct result of the pandemic, a side effect of the courts being slowed by it, or a combination of both, but the surge is real in many cities and states. Add to that reality that January, in a non-pandemic year, is so notorious for presenting a significant increase in divorce filings that it has been nicknamed 'divorce month'. Although the pandemic has changed people’s lives and perceptions, the core reasons for divorce remain constant.

If you’re wondering why people seek divorce, Laura Wasser, the famous California attorney who represented Kim Kardashian, Ryan Reynolds, Maria Shriver, and others, has a robust article, including research, that answers that question: conflict and arguing, lack of commitment, infidelity, lack of intimacy, poor communication, domestic violence, irreconcilable moral views, lack of shared interests, substance addiction, absence of love, financial problems, marrying too young, and inequity of responsibilities in the relationship. The Power of Two dials in on some dangerous relationship situations that are signs a divorce is healthy when one or both partners refuses to change: emotional abuse, physical abuse, addiction, repeated cheating, mistreatment of children, and an untreated mental disorder.

Whatever the situation in a particular relationship, DivorceMag has some helpful advice about steps to take once someone decides that efforts to save the marriage have not worked. They suggest that people:

• Collect the necessary paperwork
• Set deadlines for key activities, like document collection and hiring an attorney 
• Find support that you need. Mediators, therapists, financial advisors, friends, and family will be important as you move your divorce forward and reimagine your life.  
  
  

As a final financial resource, Forbes has a helpful article to support newly divorcing parties in thinking about the costs of divorce and how to manage them.