I recently ran across an article whereby the San Antonio Zoo was having a promotion for Valentine's Day, Cry Me A Cockroach. For $5, participants are able to name a cockroach after an ex to be fed to zoo animals. If your ex was a real piece of work deserving of extra attention, you can pay $20 to name a rat that is fed to bigger zoo animals.
As a human who has been accused, on more than one occasion, of having a dark sense of humor, I could immediately see why many of my clients would appreciate this opportunity. However, my attorney brain quickly kicked in, and I began thinking of how participation in such a Valentine’s celebration could easily be used against a party in court.
My own practice deals with a lot of high-conflict custody disputes. In many of my cases, one party is asserting that the other parent is not co-parenting and/or alienating. While on the surface, this may seem like small, harmless, fun, it could easily be evidence of animosity and the hatred in family law court.
I know...total buzzkill, right? If you’re committed to this idea because it provides any psychological relief, do so cautiously. It would be foolish to use actual names here; to be safe, I would encourage use of nicknames for all parties. Also, I would not share this with a single soul. Not verbally, and certainly not through social media or pictures. For anyone struggling with ongoing rage, I would encourage therapy. Anger and hate are very human emotions, especially during and after a significant loss, but you deserve to move past it into your next chapter! Working with a skilled counselor can help ensure that you have appropriately coped with a relationship ending and are able to move forward in a positive direction.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Jason Castle is a family lawyer who specializes in high-conflict cases. He's also a former prosecutor & social worker. Hear his latest divorce thoughts!