Valentine's Day during divorce can be...the worst. I won't sugar coat it for you. The divorce process is already stressful in so many ways. It is a time of loss that taxes your time, money, relationships, and emotions for months (and, sometimes years). This sustained assault on so many different fronts may not leave you with much tolerance for expressions of love everywhere. Overpriced flowers delivered to gushing office colleagues. Tacky stuffed animal baskets at busy intersection corners. Hearts. Just everywhere. Chocolate-covered strawberries. Prix Fixe menus that ruin your meal plans. You. Just. Can't. WAIT - except the chocolate-covered strawberries. You might be able to choke those down.
If Valentine’s Day might be an emotional trigger for you, don’t let it sneak up on you. Have a plan! Honestly, this is true with all important dates and holidays during and after your divorce. Having a plan makes the difference between reinventing traditions in an enjoyable way and feeling victimized and hurt by the loss. What type of day and/or evening could you plan that might be enjoyable for you this holiday? What could drown out the obnoxious cupid-fest all around you? If paying the San Antonio Zoo to name a cockroach or rat after your ex (see my February 2021 blog), or repurposing your engagement ring don’t perk you up, perhaps some of these ideas, along with the sassy tone of the article from Midlife Divorce Recovery might!
Jason Castle is a family lawyer who specializes in high-conflict cases. He's also a former prosecutor & social worker. Hear his latest divorce thoughts!