Navigating the Holidays During Divorce or Post-Decree Challenges

Originally posted 12/05/2025

The holiday season is often welcomed as a time of peace, celebration, and togetherness. But for many families, especially those navigating divorce or post-decree issues, the holidays can feel anything but peaceful. What should be a season of joy can quickly become a time of conflict, uncertainty, and emotional strain.

If you are in the midst of a divorce or post-decree matter, the normal holiday stressors are often amplified. Parents may feel pressure to “make up” for a difficult year or maintain traditions that are no longer possible. Parenting time schedules may shift to satisfy new orders or to accommodate holiday travel plans or school breaks. Legal dates and deadlines during the holidays take time and energy away from family fun. Disagreements over gifts, communication, or time-sharing can quickly escalate. Not to mention the financial strain that comes with all the above.

With preparation, support, and a focus on what truly matters, the holidays can still provide moments of connection and peace, despite the stress (even the stress caused by your narcissistic co-parent). Here are a few things that can help:

1. Prioritize the Children

Keeping the children’s emotional well-being at the forefront can guide better decision-making and reduce unnecessary conflict.

2. Be Flexible, But Know Your Boundaries

Being open to reasonable adjustments, while still honoring the court-ordered parenting plan, can help ease tensions for co-parents and for children.

3. Communicate Thoughtfully

Clear, calm, and concise communication—preferably in writing—can prevent misunderstandings and protect everyone involved.

Never respond in anger. In fact, if you are even slightly emotionally charged while drafting communications, do not send, and step away from your draft for at least an hour. When you are less emotional, come back and review the communication with two thoughts in mind: (1) Is this for the children? and (2) Would I be ok if this was on the front page of the newspaper (imagine we still read paper newspapers)? If the answer to both is yes, go ahead and send the communication.

4. Lean on Your Support Systems

Whether it’s trusted friends, professionals, or your legal team, having a support network can bring clarity during stressful moments.

5. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control how your co-parent behaves, but you can control your own responses, expectations, and traditions.

As difficult as the holiday season may be, it can also be a period of reflection, growth, and renewed purpose. If you’re facing holiday-related parenting issues and need guidance, our firm is here to help you navigate the season with confidence and compassion.

Happy Holidays.